Too much. I hear those words often and I am probably not alone.
“Don’t eat too much!”
“Don’t do too much!”
“Don’t drink too much…”
Errrr, am I the only one who has heard that last one? (kidding!) Generally I hear, “Don’t WORK too much!” That’s a common one that I am sure a lot of people hear but in my case it is generally directed at the fact that I have three jobs, run ultras and do a bunch of random things on the side.
This week I was tired. No doubt a result of last weekend’s run (you can read about that by clicking here) or perhaps the fact that Squeaker is sick this week and up a lot throughout the night … or maybe the fact that work has been extra frustrating and stressful lately. Most likely, a combination of all of that I am sure.
Still, I posted something on Facebook and a lot of comments came back saying things like: “burning the candle at both ends” or “too much on your plate girl!” While I don’t disagree that is true, I do feel that I am handling ‘my plate’ fairly well albeit not the way in which I would handle it if I only had ONE plate. But who has one plate in life? A mom certainly never has one plate. We juggle so much that it makes clowns look like amateurs.
Moms are typically able to juggle kids, work, personal lives and everything else that is thrown our way pretty easily. Sometimes however, the body says otherwise. As much as our minds want to go, go go all the time, our body needs to be honored.
This week, instead of working out at Breakout Fitness on Monday morning at 5 am, I opted for sleep because Squeaker woke up. Tuesday morning I made it, but didn’t really “feel” like I was working out vs just going through the motions. No one wakes up at 4:30 am just to go through the motions.
When Wednesday rolled around and the Squeaker came in like a burning ball of fire and curled up next to me scalding my pjs, I decided not to workout once again. Squeaker is not alone in feeling “off” this week. To be honest, I haven’t felt quite right for weeks. Something is off in my digestive track and I just keep feeding the problem (no pun intended) instead of figuring out what is causing my discomfort.
I’ve resorted to eating pretty bland with no relief or results. Sadly, I am one of those people who holds their stress in their belly. I may look fine on the outside but my belly is in knots. Work has definitely been less than happy lately, my other jobs are fine although they take me away from my family time and that stresses me out too as the girls are at the age where they WANT to be with me. The Peanut is going through some emotional things right now that have me a little bit worried. I am thinking constantly about the fact that I have to run a 50K in 3 weeks and a 50 miler in about 4 or 5 both of which I don’t feel I have put in enough miles towards and if I have put in the miles, why am I not recovering as quickly as I used to? Stress. It all comes down to stress, poor sleep and diet.
I eat well. There is no denying that I eat probably far healthier than most (I could probably cut back on the wine but it is good for the heart right?). I lack sleep. QUALITY sleep. But I am a mom. I have a two year old that is having nightmares and/or is fighting a cold so she is up and only wanting the comfort of her mother. Unfortunately, that comfort comes in the form of taking her back to her room and sleeping on her hard cold floor which really doesn’t treat my aching tired muscles very well.
In an effort to combat that situation, I miss out on morning workouts which will result in guilt and more stress about lack of training. A vicious circle that goes round and round sometimes.
Of course there is the logical side of me that says, “Snap out of it Trailmomma! There are people with far greater worries in life than what you are faced with! You have a healthy happy family!” I need to just chill out. I do. I admit it. I also need to create another day in the week or learn to say ‘no’ to some things in life.
But I enjoy the things I take on. I wouldn’t take them on if I didn’t enjoy them! I enjoy working for the Kings on occasion (namely weekends), I enjoy working for Gold Country Run and Sport on Sundays, I enjoy my FT job (okay, that’s not entirely true but I like my manager and we do have a mortgage), I enjoy long runs with Pigeon and friends, I enjoy blogging here and I enjoy taking a class. Wait. Did I fail to mention that I am getting a certification from Cornell online so that I can have a certificate in Plant Based Nutrition? Um, yea, I am doing that too.
I’ll probably write more on the certification when I finish the course. It is only 6 weeks and while not entirely at your own pace (you do have to follow a curriculum) it isn’t as high pressure as I thought but I do wish I could devote more time to study and learn. It is fascinating information and has really changed a lot about how I look at food and food intake in the face of major diseases like heart disease, cancer and diabetes.
It has also changed my thoughts on taking additional courses while doing what I am doing. This course has some flexibility, some of the other courses I want to take, do not and I would undoubtedly need to create more time in my day to take on something a little more intense. Just more food for thought (there I go again).
So really, there is no point to this post. I am just sort of randomly writing about what I am facing right now. Perhaps blogging is my therapy? My way of alleviating stress in my life? I certainly don’t stress about what to write here because honestly, I don’t have that large of a following and while this blog gives me great pleasure, I do hope to grow its readership some day but in order to do that, I guess I should have a common goal or purpose. However, for the time being, I love posting about my training runs. Whether they are interesting to anyone else, it doesn’t really matter. They serve as a way for me to look back in time and see what I have accomplished. A way for my girls to hopefully look back and see why their mom was nicknamed Trailmomma.
My plate may be really really full right now … but my heart and brain are as well. Things happen for a reason in life. Doors open and door shut and who knows where my life may take me this year. I guess I just have to wait and see what my plate is served with next.