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HELP BREAK THE CYCLE

Today I met someone who I will be working with in the near future. Our employment together will be for a side job that it seems is both near and dear to our passion of running and fitness but sadly, is one that at this moment in time, cannot fulfill as our full-time employment.

In our meeting we discussed what our “day-job” is and what we do. He revealed to me that he works for a company that travels to the Bay Area to talk with Universities about pharmaceutical waste. Studies have shown that the water in the Bay Area has been tested and contains many harmful pharmaceuticals that have been discarded by the general public (hospitals, families, correctional facilities), agriculture (factory farms injecting animals with antibiotics to treat infections) and industry (pharmaceutical manufacturing facilities dumping excess).

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(Source)

This stirred something inside of me. I commended him for his work and his company’s efforts to try to stop our water ways from being infected and for finding different methods of disposal however, what really hit home with me, is the cause at hand. We talked about the cycle. We talked about how Americans are quick to jump to medication to fix their “problems” and doctors, it seems are quick to prescribe them. If the average American stopped and looked at their diet and what they are poisoning their body with each day, they would see the connection. They would see that the high fat french fries filled with cholesterol and the big juicy burger they are eating are contributing to their high blood pressure and clogging their arteries. Instead of opting for a green salad they choose to take their blood pressure medication or suffer a heart attack that requires surgery where they will be pumped with more medication only to be released from the hospital to start the cycle all over again.

Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of our medical advances. I want to find cures for cancer, AIDS and all the other diseases that are taking our loved ones too soon but I also want my children to have a place to grow up where they are not afraid to drink the water from the faucet or swim in a local waterway. There has to be a compromise of some sort right?

 “Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in every society, in every family.” Kofi Annan

 The study I linked to above is from 2010 and apparently, things are much worse only 3 years later. In 2012 the Environmental Protection Agency said that California’s waterways are 170% more polluted than scientists thought. If we continue on this path, we are going to lose our precious lakes and streams not to mention our soil.

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To me this just seems like a cycle. A cycle that could be broken if people were educated (by physicians, their own motivation, teachers) about the value of a nutritious diet versus one full of chemicals, additives and processed foods. If we can stop certain diseases with food instead of medicine, why don’t we encourage that, teach that, live that each day? I am by no means perfect in my diet but at the same time, I am not on any medication and if given the choice of having to pop a pill daily and eating a salad, I would eat a salad every day of my life. I should also say that my own father was saved by heart surgery after his heart attack but he is living a much healthier lifestyle now and is more aware of what he puts into his body.

All I ask is that you be conscious in your choices. In the meantime, think before you go through your medicine cabinet tossing all those expired bottles of Advil, Tylenol or prescription medications into the trash or down the drain. After my recent ankle surgery, my doctor told me that I can bring in my unused Vicodin (that she insisted I get even though I took nothing for pain) to my local Kaiser and that they will dispose of it properly however their website advises not to do this.

Kaiser’s page does link to the No Drugs Down the Drain site however:  which lets you put in your zip code to see where you can bring your used or unused drugs for disposal.

I am anxious to work with my new coworker so I can ask more about his “day-job” as I suspect his company is developing a much better method of disposal however, wouldn’t it be great if we could just reduce the amount of medication tossed annually by just eating a salad and having an apple a day?

~Trailmomma

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THE CHILD INSIDE

Last weekend my girls attended their first ever gymnastics class. It was a “trial class” to see if they liked it and to see if we wanted to sign up for the full month of lessons. The Peanut (age 5) was in the “Kinder Class” and Squeaker (age 2) was in the “Toddler Class.” The classes were one right after the other which, as you can imagine can be quite challenging when it comes to sitting still for 45 minutes to an hour watching a sibling.

Peanut’s class was first. Upon entering the gym she seamed excited and I thoroughly thought she would love every minute of the class because she has really blossomed this year as a result (I think) of attending kindergarten. She entered the floor with about six other girls and started the stretching and warm up. The next thing I know she is curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing that she didn’t want to do it. This was the old Peanut. This was our shy, intimidated scared little Peanut. My heart broke and yet part of me was frustrated. I had her sit to the side and watch. Finally, not knowing what to do, I gave her an ultimatum . I told her that she either goes and sit with the class or we go home. This may seem a little harsh but sometimes, she needs a big little nudge. She reluctantly walked over and sat IN the teacher’s lap. Soon enough the stretching portion was done and they moved on to some balance beams, uneven bars and trampoline type of drills. Sure enough, I saw a smile emerge and she was giggling with the other girls.

She is not the smallest in the group, but she is one of the few who can’t jump high, do a somersault or bend in all kinds of weird ways. To be honest, she is incredibly awkward. Much like her mother. I was proud of her that she continued on with the class and afterwards, she told me she wanted to come back. She had conquered her fear and found fun in something that scared her.

We, as adults, don’t necessarily ever lose this as we grow older. How many times have we been tasked to do something that frightens us to the core? What are we frightened of? Failure? Getting hurt (both emotionally and physically)? How many times do we try something and if we are not good at it, we quit?

Later that evening, the Peanut pulled me aside and said, “Mommy, I have a secret. Do you know why I cried at gymnastics?” I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and I said “Why honey, why did you cry?” Her response: “Because I don’t like having attention. I don’t like people staring at me.” My heart broke for a minute as it always does when I notice that she is battling her self-confidence. Yet, if anyone asked me to stand in front of a large group of people and speak, I too would probably (at least internally) crawl into a ball and cry.

Today was the start of our full session of gymnastics and I have been thinking all week about the Peanut. She vowed to me this morning that she wouldn’t cry this time (and she didn’t). I know confidence comes with time and experience for some people but the truth of the matter is, we all have an inner child within us whispering things like “I’m scared” and “I don’t want to do it.”

I think that is entirely normal and it helps me remember not to get mad at the Peanut when she goes through periods like this, afraid to try anything new. The best thing I can do is remind her that trying something new is scary to everyone but that she may find that she really likes it.

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When she is swimming, she is like a mermaid; confident and cocky swimming the length of the pool but it wasn’t always that way. I remind her of that.

I am also proud that she returned to class this weekend. She struggled with the drills lacking the strength and flexibility a lot of the other kids had but at least she TRIED.

The next time you are presented with something that makes you nervous or perhaps something that you know you are not going to perform well, remember my Peanut. Find your inner child and tell them it is okay, that anything new can be scary and that practice makes perfect. And if all else fails, tell yourself to participate or go home. 🙂

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Practice makes perfect.

~Trailmomma

 

 

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PIPELINE

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2014. Generally I like to think I am a “live in the now” kind of person. However, by nature I plan. I make lists for myself and the kids whenever we travel (for Van’s it is kind of hopeless), I write out grocery lists and meal plans for the week but for the most part, I would like to live a life of spontaneity and with no regrets. Of course having two kids under the age of 5 inherently makes that very difficult (um, nap time).

However, when it comes to running and training, I have generally never jumped into a race “just because” or signed up for something last-minute. I always get the “early bird” sign up and never the “day of” registration. That is just the way I have been programmed. I have learned my lesson a few times by signing up for races and then having ankle surgery.

But I have been putting a lot of thought into my 2014 racing/running plans. Way back before my surgery I even made (yet another) list of the races that I wanted to do. I tried to ease myself back into things with Resolution Run in January in Auburn followed by that little old thing called the Western States Training Run in February and well, that itty bitty race called Way Too Cool 50K in March. However, WTC is a lottery and what if I didn’t get into the lottery next year? Of course I’d have to sign up for the Tahoe Rim Trail 50K too (which is also a lottery for 2014). Both Way Too Cool and Tahoe Rim sign ups are in December so essentially, I have to sign up for BOTH at the same time and run the risk of being picked for BOTH races. I am not, by nature, a lucky person. Lucky things do not happen to me generally but I think in this case, I WILL get picked for both races because well, that would be Vans’s bad luck (and my good fortune) butting heads.

I also just discovered that the American River 50 Mile race, which I had no intentions of doing again, at least not this year, had a course change. The start is about a mile from my house (again)! Now if that is not fate knocking on my door I don’t know what is. Right? (Van’s don’t answer that).

My other main focus in 2014 is pacing. Pigeon is throwing her name into the Western State 100 Mile race again and I am finally healthy should she choose me to be her pacer. My love of all things Western States stems back to my first few months in California (1999) when my local PBS station (and past employer) did a documentary on the race (Race for the Soul). I fell in love then and the love still stands. I was fortunate enough in 2010 to do a few of the WS training runs as part of my training for AR50 and then for fun after AR was done. That is my goal this year. I want to be out there on Memorial Day weekend running those beautiful trails again getting muddy, wet and dirty but having the time of my life! I love it. I have goosebumps just typing about it.

I have too much to think about and all of it wonderful. I truly am lucky in that my surgery was done well and I am back running and feeling so great. My only hurdle these days is time but I am managing. I have a lot of support in Vans, my girls, my running and non-running friends as well a few new friends that I have met along the way.

I am healthy, my family is healthy and we have so much to be thankful for these days. This solo parenting week has really opened my eyes to how lucky I am. Spending quality time with my girls has really been wonderful. They  make me laugh daily and I love to make them laugh. I love seeing bits and pieces of Vans and myself in them and I only hope that we can pass on our love of the outdoors, sweat, fitness and being active to each of them. What they decide to do with that is their choice. We don’t demand that they are competitive but as long as they can realize and understand how movement can improve how they feel and how they think. We are blessed with healthy bodies and our job is to keep them healthy.
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my girls

How are you treating your gift today?

~Trailmomma

 

 

 

 

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DEAR PTA PRESIDENT

The Parent Teacher Association or as it is more commonly known, the PTA is a formal organization composed of parents, teachers and staff and is  intended to facilitate parental participation in the school. With the Peanut now in kindergarten, Vans and I are experiencing public school and this organization for the first time.  Actually there is even a NATIONAL PTA  and their mission as quoted on their website is “The overall purpose of PTA is to make every child potential a reality  by engaging and empowering families and communities to advocate for all  children.” Sounds pretty awesome right? I mean, what can be better than “engaging and empowering families” and being an “advocate for all children.” Impressive no?

Well hold onto your girl scout cookies when you hear the story I am about to tell you about my recent run-in with our local PTA. It had me fuming enough to write this post and I hope it inspires you to investigate your own PTA organizations.

The background: Peanut attends public school but this particular public school resides in a very affluent area in Northern California. Mind you, not ALL of the families that attend this school are well-off but I would venture to guess, that the majority of them are living comfortably. Now there is nothing wrong with that. I have no problems with it. Vans and I work very hard and some might say we are pretty well off as well and I wouldn’t disagree but we also are in the minority when it compares against other families in our daughter’s school. What does this mean? Why does income even matter in this story? Sadly, money is a driving force for a lot of people. To many, if it doesn’t make money than it isn’t worth the time or in this case, our children’s health. Stay with me here, it gets better.

So this school hosted a Harvest Festival. The Peanut was super excited to attend as her class was to perform a song on stage for the parents. So on a beautiful Saturday morning the entire Trailmomma family loaded into the car and attended the Harvest Festival. While walking around I noticed a few little boys (probably 7 or 8 years old) walking around with half empty two liter bottles of soda. I sort of thought that odd and I secretly was hoping that they were just carrying the soda some where and not actually consuming it.

It was then that I noticed one of the game booths. It was “ring toss” where you toss a little ring onto what appeared to be a bunch of soda bottles. No big deal right? Well if the kids connected they received a two liter bottle of soda…AS A PRIZE!! So yes, those little boys had been consuming what appeared to be a lot of soda directly from the bottle. I looked around and there were lots of kids (and parents) carrying soda bottles! I was saddened by this and it prompted me to write a letter to the president of the PTA (since this Harvest Festival was organized by the PTA). I was pretty polite in my letter. Here, see for yourself:

Hi there, thank you for the Harvest Festival. My daughter is in  kindergarten and this was our first ever Harvest Festival. She had a  great time so thank you.

There is one thing I’d like to bring  up however that concerned me involving the “ring toss” game. While the  game and the idea is fine, I have to really disagree with the use of  soda. Before I even saw the game itself, I saw 7, 8 and 9 year olds each  walking around with a half empty two liter bottle of soda. At first I  thought they were carrying them to the concession stands or food  area but then I realized that was their “prize” in the ring toss.  Really?

I won’t go into the unhealthy aspects of soda or what it does to a child’s tooth enamel as I am sure you must be aware. Please  reconsider this game next year. It is sending a terrible message to our  children or at the very least do not let the soda be awarded as a prize  although I caution against even supporting the soda industry by  purchasing two liter bottles to begin with.

I know, “to each  their own” and I didn’t let my child participate in that specific game  as she found plenty of others to play but if we can help our children  avoid the amount of sugar contained in soda, we’d all be better off.
Thank you again for your time and for all that you did. I will continue to  support the PTA and perhaps next year will participate in the Harvest  Festival planning.

Sincerely, Trailmomma

Be honest, is there anything truly insulting or mean about that letter? Okay so maybe the “Really?” was a little unnecessary but I wanted to make a point. A few days had gone by and finally I received a response from the president of the PTA. Her email alone has started an avalanche within my head of emotions and anger that I literally had to stop and count to ten after I read her letter. Here is what she wrote:

Greetings Trailmomma,

Thank you for your message and for providing feedback.  Truthfully, the health risks of soda is not debatable, I’m a pharmacist and my  husband is a physician.  But I’d like to provide some background information, and then I have a request.

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The soda ring toss game brought in slightly over $1,500 in net revenue at the 2013 Harvest Festival. There was no cost to run the game because the soda was 100% donated by parents and grocery stores (about  70%, 30% respectively). The PTA will use the $1,500 in revenue to pay for an electronic reading program (“RazKids”)  that your Kindergarten student will use in Kindergarten and 1st Grade.
Therefore, eliminating the game is not an option. The benefits  clearly outweigh the risks.  But replacing the game with an equally  high-earning game could be considered.  Which is where my request comes  in. Please consider championing a replacement game.  This could be accomplished by researching PTA/PTO  blogs/articles/websites and consulting outside friends/family to  investigate what school carnival games are wildly popular for similar  demographics and age.  The PTA would consider your proposal for a  replacement game, and if approved, would be run head-to-head against the soda ring  toss at the next Harvest.  This could solve the issue without  sacrificing needed funds.
Best Regards PTA President

So I plan on responding to her email (again) and to explain my point (again). My intention is to respond with respect and maturity however, I am not entirely sure how much I’ll be able to muster without really bringing to light all the things WRONG with her response. Which leads me to this blog post. Here, I am allowed to write what I want. Here, I am allowed to write the truth.

Dear PTA President:

First and foremost the disclosure of you and your husband’s professions make your email one hundred times more sad although not entirely surprising. I have no doubts that you are smart educated people but both of your professions have no background in nutrition. Both of your professions are geared towards prescribing pills, basically band-aids to mask many problems that can be purely avoided or healed by a better intake of nutrition and the basic understanding of how what you consume nutritionally will determine your medical course in life.

With that aside, it seems that you place the health of your children and the health of all children at the school at about $1500. Is that about right? You said “the benefits out weigh the risks” in your letter. So $1500 is better than a child who will develop diabetes? Or perhaps a child with ADHD? $1500 is way more important than childhood obesity which is running rampant in our nation. $1500 is more important than an elementary school student having massive tooth decay and a mouth full of cavities? $1500 is clearly more important than a child who develops cardiovascular disease from consuming soda filled with caffeine and sugar. You would rather sacrifice the health of our children for money?

You said your husband was a physician right? So he must have read the study published in The Journal of Pediatrics that found children who consume large amounts of soda per day experience more aggression, withdrawal and attention problems. It sounds however that you are willing to sacrifice those issues for $1500.

In your email you say that you want me to “champion” a replacement game that is as “equally high earning” and then later state that my game would go head to head with “ring toss” at the next Harvest. Clever Mrs. President. That means next year you’ll have the opportunity to bring in even more money.  Perhaps a tactic to not only get the PTA some cash but also make you feel less guilty for handing out poison to our kids? Something tells me that “ring toss” would not be resigned from the list of games even if another game “out-did” it.

I can accept your challenge to find a new game however I just simply want to know, why do the 2 liter bottles have to be filled with soda!? Why can’t they be 2 liter bottles filled with water? Why can’t we call upon our families to RECYCLE (another noble thought) any 2 liter plastic bottle they come across and fill them with WATER!? Imagine that? Same effect without the carcinogenic poison being introduced to our children.

Clearly money is at the heart of the matter here. Not the health and well-being of our kids. If that is the case, I will scour the streets and parks to recycle as many bottles and cans as I need to raise $1500 so that at the next Harvest Festival, the children (and parents) at this school won’t have to pay money to consume carbonated crap as a prize.

Sincerely, Trailmomma

Whew, that felt good. Tell, me do you really want to see these two beautiful faces (or your own kids) consuming soda? I don’t.

harvest festival

 

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WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP?

Back in August a person who I admire, respect and look to for a lot of nutritional guidance asked me a question. We had exchanged some emails back and forth and in her last email to me she asked me point blank, “What Lights Me Up? How can I serve people best?” I don’t think I ever fully responded to her email but the question has been festering in my head for months. For a while, it was ALL that I thought about. At times just thinking about the question truly depressed me. I will be honest, some nights I even cried. Why? Because I didn’t have an answer. I know what I “like” and I know what I “think” my dream job in life would be but honestly, I could not, on one hand, count anything, ANYTHING that I was truly good at or excelled at or that people reached out to ME to handle. Sad right? I think so being that I am almost 37 years old.
 
I even went to work and wrote the question down: “What Lights Me Up?” and “How can I serve people best?” The things I listed are the things that I am interested in learning more about or perhaps enrolling in but is it a career? Would it be enough to support my family and would it truly make me any happier? Am I alone? Am I the only person who has no unusual talents or skills? If you opened up the dictionary and turned to the definition of “plain Jane” you’d find my photo. I am sure of it.
 
Even my vocational background is disjointed and confusing. I went to college for television production and immediately out of college I got a job working for a public television station as a production assistant. I worked my way up the chain topping out at Producer (kinda sorta) Reporter. I loved it. I loved my job, I loved the people I worked with, I loved being creative and creating visual stories for people to view from the comforts of their own home. As it frequently happens, my program/station lost some funding and I was let go. I was young  and in my twenties. I guess  the powers that be assumed I’d bounce back but the television industry is very competitive, temperamental and difficult to sustain. I had also met Vans and did not really see myself leaving the state to compete in another market. Instead, I went back to school to earn my paralegal certification. Why? I don’t know. I honestly do not know and while I don’t regret the decision (entirely) I often wonder if I had pursued a different road, where would I be today?
 
At that time, I was running. Actually I had just started training for my first half-marathon. I knew that I loved running and I had always been an active athletic person. I was a vegan at the time (still am) and I also discovered that I had Celiac Disease. These three things are probably the first three characteristics people think of most when they think about me. “Oh there’s Trailmomma, she loves to run and she’s a health nut. Did you know she’s a gluten free vegan!” I’d say those are my “labels” if you had to label me and I am okay with that. I love being vegan and I love reading about nutrition and living a plant based diet. I love learning about gluten free options and the strides the industry is making in Celiac research but the biggest thing having Celiac Disease has done for me is that it has opened my eyes to the damage that processed wheat can do to your body. I digress and I am sorry but as you can see the topics of fitness and nutrition really speak to me. So of course I often wonder if I had not gone to paralegal school and instead had pursued my personal training certification and some sort of degree in nutrition, where would I be today? Would I be happier?
 
Poor Vans. The topic comes up often. For over a year now I have been bugging him and pestering him that I would love to take the TRX Certification Course in San Francisco and also earn a Plant Based Nutrition Certificate from Cornell University but Vans is the voice of reason and he asks me, “I support you 100% in whatever you want to do but what would you DO with it?” He is right to ask me this. These courses are not cheap and let’s be honest, I have a full time job with two kids who are doing gymnastics, swimming and all the things a new kindergartener (and little sister) does when she is five. Life right now it not leaving much room for extracurricular activities.
 
Yet not a day goes by that I do not think about the question that Ange asked me. I don’t want anyone to think that I hate my full time job either. I work for a very good company and it has been a long ugly road of law firm to law firm to get here. My current employer is good, the people I work with are nice and even the company’s purpose is to help people. Of course it has its politics like any other large corporation but so far, it isn’t anything that would make me go running for the hills. I also did not intend to write this fishing for comments hoping for a pity party or an ego booster. I wrote it for the simple fact that I am not doing what I love. I am not doing something that lights me up every day. Is that even possible? Or is that only something for people who have great luck in life? I am sure someone could argue that if you wanted something bad enough, you’d work hard for it and make it happen no matter what. That may be true but does that someone have two kids that go to daycare and who will someday (I hope) go to college? Get married? Let’s face it, the economy is not great and I have been on the side of being unemployed. Like most parents do, we sacrifice our happiness for our children. Of course I don’t want my girls to see me miserable or pursuing a life that just doesn’t make me smile or laugh but I also want to be able to provide for them. It is such hard and difficult road.
 
I often think of my mom. She died when I had just turned 16 years old. In the time I knew her, I didn’t know her to have a “career.” Yes she had jobs. She worked. Both of my parents worked yet there were periods when my mom didn’t. We were not well off but we always had food on the table and I had toys and I was able to play all the sports I wanted. However, my mother never seemed happy with her jobs UNTIL she started working in our neighbor’s dried flower shop. It may be a small thing to some people but it was a huge deal to her. She was crafty and very good with her hands. She created the most beautiful dried flower arrangements and they sold! People loved her work. Sadly, my mom passed away when she 47 and she had not been working at the dried flower shop for very long. That haunts me. I loved my mom very much and she was a great mother but I don’t want to be 47 years old and finally find the job I should have been doing all along. Who knows how much time is left? Who knows if tomorrow will come? The one thing I took away from her death was that you should live life like there is no tomorrow. Speak your mind when you can and make the most of what you have because it may not (or they may not) be there tomorrow.
 
Now don’t get me wrong, my kids and my family are what truly light me up. Nothing makes me prouder than my girls and watching them grow before my eyes.

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When I talk about my family I know that I am glowing because my love for them shines right through. The Peanut learned how to ride a bike recently. I have never been more proud of her and of Vans for having taught her. She was beside herself that she even yelled “I am doing it!” while riding.

I just don’t know what road to take I guess professionally. I love that I have a “career” and that my girls see me working for such a huge corporation yet what they don’t hear is me talking about how much I love work when I am at home because the reality of it is, I don’t. It pays our bills, lets us live a comfortable life
and allows me to provide for my kids.

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Clearly there are no words of motivation or inspiration in this rather long and honest post. If you are still with me reading, thank you.
 
Obviously I don’t have any answers right now. There are small doors opening for me including a small gig at a soon to be local running store. I am passionate about running and getting people to run so maybe something will unfold for me yet. Or maybe this will just be another notch in my part-time job repertoire (that is a whole other post right there).
 
But what about you? Are you happy doing what you are doing in life? What lights YOU up? What are YOU good at and how can you help people? I can’t thank Ange enough for presenting me with this question and now I present it to you.

 
~Trailmomma

photo 3-2 (2)

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