I am taking a brief interruption from your regularly scheduled Trailmomma posts to allow myself the opportunity to vent, complain or perhaps I am just seeking out some kind of personal connection to anyone who can relate to what we are going through right now in the Trailmomma household.
I know toddlers are picky. I know kids change their minds almost as much as women. I know that for most, dinner time can be a struggle when you have a 2 year old and a 5 year old sitting at the table. Still, my heart hangs a little lower these days and my mind is moving a mile a minute trying to find healthy meals and snacks that my two princesses will eat.
If history repeats itself or if healthy eating is hereditary then my girls won’t start eating healthy until they are in college. When I was their age, and well into my teenage years I was probably one of the pickiest kids on the planet. My foods could not touch. I did not like turkey at all and I think I consumed more microwave french fries than is humanly possible. Fruit? Never had it. We didn’t have apples in the house. We had Hostess. Vegetables? Canned corn. I drank soda like water (actually never even drank water unless you count Kool-Aid) and I lived across the street from two authentic Italian pizza places, a candy store and an ice cream shop.
The fact that I was never obese is purely due to the fact that my friends and I played outside from dawn until dusk as much as we possibly could. Something that the kids today do not do.
Still, when I reached college and the food choices were left up to me, I realized, after gaining the freshman 20, how certain foods made me feel. I had stopped eating meat in high school but the junk food was abundant in college. I finally understood how exercise (when not forced through a soccer/softball/basketball coach) was actually fun. I started running for my own enjoyment and I never stopped.
Now, with a passion for living a life consuming whole unprocessed plant-based foods, it makes me sad when I see the things my kids eat. This isn’t something entirely new, they’ve eaten poorly from the start mostly because as new parents, we were consumed with making sure our little ones had full bellies despite what we filled them with. I knew the processed foods the Peanut was eating were not good and yet, no matter what we offered, she refused. As an infant/toddler, she also never slept, ever and so we tried all we could to fill her belly at times hoping that would help her sleep. No dice.
Then Squeaker was born, and we raised her differently. I read (and shared with every expectant parent I knew) the book Baby Led Weaning and was inspired. We fed Squeaker whole foods. Nothing was jarred or puree ever. If she could pick it up, she could eat it and she did! She ate food that the Peanut never gave the time of day when she was Squeaker’s age. Vans and I were in heaven. Then, something changed. Before she turned two, Squeaker started refusing pretty much everything.
Now they probably eat all of five things. Total. The Peanut at least likes steamed broccoli and will consume a pile of it if we give it to her. She will eat carrots (raw) and steamed green beans and peas. However, she does not consume fruit. Not anything nor anything fruit related. No applesauce, no bananas, no berries and no apples. Forget melons or those little citrus cuties. It is maddening. She likes sweet things (namely chocolate) but she won’t touch fruit nor will she consume any smoothies either. Getting her to eat anything new is a struggle. I am pleased she will eat brown rice I am not thrilled that she won’t eat anything else. I can’t even feed her traditional kid favorites! She won’t eat pizza, peanut-butter and jelly or even spaghetti!
Squeaker is worse. She won’t consume any vegetables OR fruit. No smoothies. She won’t eat noodles. She will eat refried black beans and brown rice and grilled cheese like it is going out of style. Lara bars are a favorite snack but unfortunately so is gold fish or Cheeze-its. It is maddening to me.
My only hope is that Squeaker will evolve like the Peanut and start eating more of a variety of veggies but the Peanut has always eaten broccoli.
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So here I sit, wracking my brain trying to come up with different snack ideas and meals for them. I am trying to go the healthier route but it is basically a waste of money according to Vans. My philosophy is: if you don’t try you’ll never know if they like it. Unfortunately, the Peanut doesn’t try anything new at school and just tosses her lunch most times if I sneak in “new” healthier foods.
With the start of the new year, I am drawing an invisible line in the sand. I want to be done with the days where I made three separate meals (one for the Peanut, one for Squeaker and one for Vans and myself). My time is limited already, adding personal chef to the mix is just insane.
So tonight I made Mama Pea’s Pizza Casserole. This is one dish that I can often get them to eat with a little cajoling. Squeaker will eat it only if she is 1) really hungry and 2) it is fresh (not reheated). The Peanut often resists for a while but will consume a small bowl.
Tomorrow I have another Mama Pea dish ready to throw into crock pot called Spicy African Peanut Stew. Tomorrow will be a struggle. Tomorrow there will be a fight but I am ready. People always tell me that “if kids are hungry, they will eat” and ya know what? That is a load of B.S! Those people have not met my kids who will not eat for a week if they put their minds to it.
I admire Ange over at Hol-Fit .  She has provided me with countless tips and tricks to get my girls to eat healthier foods or make wiser choices. I like her approach to food as it relates to her two girls, in that she likes to ask them how certain foods make them feel. Does that piece of junk food make their tummy hurt? She makes them piece together the connection. I do that to a degree, but sadly most of the food they eat cause tummy distress and frankly, my kids could really care less about that stuff.
But I would be lying to say that reading, seeing photos of friends or other people’s kids consuming super healthy foods makes me feel like a failure. I make healthy choices for myself, why can’t I do that for my kids? Actually, I do, but I can’t force it down their throats.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
So while this post has no real purpose other than to broadcast my recent frustrations, I hope that I am not alone. Although, part of me hopes that I am, because I would like to think all kids are eating healthy but I know the reality of that is slim. The Hostess, Kellogg and General Mills companies are not giant money makers because people are shunning their food for broccoli. Monsanto isn’t the largest (most corrupt) company because people refuse their products.
I’ll keep trying to teach my girls the importance of wise choices when it comes to food as this is one battle I won’t give up. I am ready for the long haul. One stalk of broccoli at a time.
~Trailmomma
Sorry Pam, but I really had to laugh while reading your blog. Your frustration is legit, but do you
realize that your kids already eat healthier than most other kids. After all what kids do you know
that actually like broccoli? Most adults don’t even like it. Don’t give up, your kids are definitely
learning by example. What if you were to bribe them with something like, I’ll give you that yummy
chocolate cake, cookies, chips, etc. for dessert if you just try 1 tablespoon of each thing on your plate? JC and Sierra are sure showing their independence early. Good Luck!!
Thank you Debbie but the lack of fruit in a kid who has fiber issues is not good. She may eat broccoli but she doesn’t eat enough to gain what she needs and broccoli doesn’t contain all the vitamins and nutrients a kid needs to grow and thrive. While I am not super worried, it does make me sad that leading by example isn’t working in our case.
Ugh, it is such a struggle and I’ve seen firsthand how you and Vans handle it.
Short of removing all junk-y options from the house (that’s an option, maybe?) and actually sticking to your own stubborn guns with,”This is all there is to eat” and not giving them the option of the go-to items (i.e. pizza casserole is all there is, no sides of broccoli or chicken or whatever), I don’t know how you get them to switch.
Maybe it’s involving them in the process of cooking the meal that might help? I realise with a rushed post-work/school schedule that’s not always possible, but maybe on weekends they can be a part of picking the foods to make up a salad or soup or casserole or something and then teaching them how to peel veggies, cut, etc? We did that with A one night and the kid ate THREE helpings of the salad she designed herself, whereas if I’d just plunked salad down in front of her she may have eaten it but it would have been like pulling teeth.
I know it’s hard, but you are doing well regardless of how little-to-no results there are at the dinner table. Peanut KNOWS you eat healthy, Squeaker isn’t far behind in that realization. We want what’s best for them, always. It’s so hard when they don’t want it, though.
Thanks Be:Well:Run however we have tried on numerous occasions to have them help. This actually backfires as they see what the food looks like BEFORE it is cooked and is more of turn off for them than just seeing it at the table.
We’ve decreased the junk food items some what but not totally removed them. We could but that would mean Vans and I would have to be a team in that regard. 😉 Their choices are way more limited than they used to be though.
I will continue to try and offer. It is all that I can do. I have some new tricks up my sleeve that I might try tonight while we eat our Spicy African Peanut (really Almond) Stew. 🙂
Sorry to hear about your struggle with feeding your princesses! They are so sweet, I would never had thought that they make you problems with eating.
So Sierra would be in heaven in Switzerland =chocolate land!
Wishing you lots of perseverance and good luck best momma!
Thanks Ursula! Hopefully one day we can make that trip!
I feel for you and go through the same thing! It’s very difficult when BOTH parents are not on board. (dh still buys “junk” and will give it to her when I am not around, OR, he buys it for himself which she sees, and of course wants to copy). It’s prob the biggest thing we “fight” about. aaagh!!!
I’ve tried everything you have…D is very picky as well. The only veggies she will eat is spinach, little broc, carrots, cucumbers, & celery. There is little “color” variety. As far as our meals go, the only “true meals” she will eat is ww spaghetti w.sauce, “healthy” pizza, and hmm..that may be it!! No rice, no beans, no quinoa, nothing. In our house,I will make something with the rule that she has to at least try it, no exceptions.She ends up taking a “no thank you bite”, and never.ever likes anything “new.” “They” say that it takes what, 10-14 intros to new food?? aagh! Anyway, we always have a healthy choice avail that she likes on the table (usually a side veggie or fruit), and if she doesn’t like the main dish, she has to make do w./whatever is on the table. I feel you, it’s maddening.
This week she turned a corner and we’ll see how long it will last. 😉 I put a ton of salad “fixings” on the table and allowed her to make her own salad (she chose spinach, strawberries, blueberries, and cucumbers). It was a start, and I let it go at that.
All I keep thinking is that I hated most of everything my mom made when I was younger too, (yet she forced me to eat it, whether I was about to get sick or not), and I do feel that led to issues. Despite “hating” veggies as a kid, and being a fast food/hostess addict in HS and college, I am now a healthy veggie. 😉 We can only hope our kids will make the right choices by continued modeling. I refuse to “fight” or “force” D to eat anything, but will not allow the “junk” either.
So basically in all of my ramble, I’m trying to say, you’re not alone!
I think I would fall over if my girls made a salad …. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your struggles. Yes, Vans tends to bring more junk into the home than I do for them. I don’t want to forbid them anything because they will seek it out or hide later in life. Last night’s stew was a disaster. Squeaker ended up not eating a single thing and the Peanut sat at the tabled and cried for almost an hour before taking a lick of the spoon and declaring she hated it. She did eventually eat the roasted broccoli and brussels so minor victory – not that she’ll eat it again without a fight. We do a “no thank you bite” as well but last night I couldn’t get either one of them to do it. The Peanut eventually caved in temptation of having something else after.
I told them flat out last night that we’re starting with at least 3 nights a week of “1 meal” not separate meals. I told them I am not a restaurant so they get what we get 3 nights out of the week and the other 2 I will make their usual (crap) meals. Babysteps.
This is just dinner … breakfast and lunch are a whole other battle! haha Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone. 🙂
let me re-phrase…treats are allowed and she has them (almost) daily. So I need to withdraw the “do not allow any junk in the house”. that too was an issue of mine when I was younger (hostess/little debbie horder!) She’s just not allowed a treat if she doesn’t eat something healthy. 😉 We def like our treats in our household, mama included.
Great post – I can totally relate as we are usually making three meals a night and my husband and I are always asking each other, “Do you think the kids eat too much processed food?” My son will gag himself if we try to force him to eat something he doesn’t like and I am not going to fight if it means he is going to puke on the table (yeah, he has done that more than once!). But we both remember that, like you, we were picky eaters and we learned to like healthy food. We try to give our kids healthy foods they will eat (mine do eat a lot of fruit) and let it go at that. We model healthy eating and talk to them about why certain foods are good for you. And now that my kids are older, we made them tell us five vegetables they will eat without complaining. Yes, canned corn and canned beans are on my son’s list, but it is a start and a way to get him to peacefully eat some kind of vegetable every night.
But really I wanted to get back to you re: vegetarianism and adding meat. As a vegetarian, I think I was woefully underestimating the amount of protein I needed plus I was relying on a lot carb rich foods to fill me up (pasta, bread). Plus, I thought of myself as healthy because I was vegetarian, when I was eating cheese pizza for dinner! I think cutting a lot of refined foods (like the pasta and bread) out of my diet helped me a lot. I don’t think meat is necessary in a healthy diet, but it was a good solution for me to find the extra protein (and replace bread/pasta calories) I needed and I think my body responded well to it. I did not try adding a lot of protein powder or trying to eat more plant protein, so it is not a fair experiment. Certainly, there are many high level successful vegan/vegetarian athletes, but I wasn’t managing my vegetarianism in a way that allowed me to hit my best potential. I still support vegetarianism as a very healthy and certainly much greener dietary option, and my overall consumption of meat is pretty low (usually 4 oz or less per meal) and many meals are still meat free. Sorry for the long comment! -pam
Thanks Pam for commenting and thank you for making feel that I am not alone with being a short-order cook sometimes for my kids. 🙂
Thank you too for your explanation about adding meat back into your diet. I think that cutting refined foods from a diet tends to result in a positive outcome most of the time. As runners, I like to think that we are incredibly in-tune with or bodies. When something is off, we know it. Everyone is different and your training and racing undoubtedly adds some additional needs for your body to recover and perform.
Best of luck to you in 2014! I was at Robie Point last year and was cheering like mad for you! 🙂
Ughh….I hear you loud and clear on this!!
We went to the doctor once because for awhile Phene was having some bathroom issues. She told us she wasnt eating enough vegetables and fruit….well duh, but how do I get her to eat them??? She said have her dip fruit in whipped cream or cool whip….and to dip vegetables in peanut butter. And I was willing to try this, because I have tried everything else to no avail! But Phene would just suck the whipped cream and peanut butter off, and still wouldn’t eat the fruit or vegetables…and you are right, so many people say just make something and if she doesn’t eat it she will eat eventually because she’s hungry…total BS…..I still cook multiple meals a night, but I am trying more and more to veer away from it because it’s so time consuming!!! I swear Phene could live in crackers, that’s all she wants..
Most of the time I have to bribe her with something to get her to eat fruits or vegetables.
Literally and I wish I was kidding she will only eat broccoli, apples, spinach salad (thank goodness), carrots (sometimes), and bananas. I am just hoping, like you, that she grows out of it eventually!!!!
My Peanut had “bathroom” issues too when she was about 2 I think. Serious issues, as in nothing for 2 weeks and it resulted in forced measures. It was awful. She continues to struggle with it from time to time but we push the water as much as we can since she won’t eat fruit.
Mine do the exact same thing, licking whatever off the carrot or fruit and not eating it. So frustrating!